8.02.2012

the first time stella got sh*t faced


disclaimer: if you do not like poop don't read this post.  it will make you throw up in your mouth a little bit.  and furthermore, if you were on the fence about having kids, this might make you want to reconsider...to have them, of course.  because moments like this will make you laugh so hard that your belly hurts.  

it all started on the day i dedicated baby girl's wardrobe to one item: le diaper.  i mean, who doesn't love a baby in a diaper?  it's easy and adorable.  a total win-win when it comes to lunch time too, because of the easy clean up and all.  so miss stella was in her high chair and i was in the kitchen, fixing up my lunch. she already had hers, giving me a few minutes of freedom to chop my own lettuce without pause to distract her from getting in leon's dog water yet again.  there she sat in her yellow chair with blueberries, cheese, and her favorite, green beans.  

while assembling my salad, i happened to glance over at my hungry little babe to notice there was something black all over her cheeks.  i paused.  gave her a disconcerting look, because after all, nothing on her tray was black.  what the hell could that be, i innocently thought to myself.  little did i know. 

and then it hit me full force like a train at full speed racing down the tracks.  i felt like i wanted to vomit and pass out all the the same time.  stella had opened her diaper and was getting sh*t faced.  literally.  she was eating her poo.  

oh my god.  kids do this?  i thought this was a dog thing!  .....it's on the tray, too!?  and on the floor?!  and on her cheeks?!  what the hell...and under her fingernails...........

jesus.  my kid ate her poop. 

she obviously did not like the taste {thank god}, hence the stink eye she was giving me.  but dear lord, how in the world could my sweet baby girl eat her own poop.  you guys.  have your kids done this?? is this a normal part of growing up?  why have i never heard about this before?  please, lie to me and tell me your kids have done this too! 

so off to the soapy tub we went...poopy cheeks and all.  it was all i could to from not throwing up my breakfast shake all over the dining room floor, let alone cry from disgust.  but i didn't, because then we would have one fine mess on our hands and more nasty crap to clean up.  

why am i documenting this lovely story you might add?  blackmail.  nahhh...  well, maybe.  perhaps someday i will break it out to stella's future boyfriend to give him a little chuckle.  or now that i think about it i will hold this story near and dear, waiting for the time i can tell her husband about the that one time when.....

haha.

i can just hear her now, "uuhhhhh moooom.  not again!  i have heard that story, like, 1,000,000 times!" oh, i can't wait for that.

but for real, i am writing this all down in our little blog because it's important to remember that life is all about moments like this one.  those i cannot believe that just happened moments that really wake you up and make you laugh till you pee your pants.  

oh, the little things in life.  sorry stella, i just had to. 

ps.  baby girl will be wearing clothes during all of her meals from here on out. 

17 comments:

  1. Oh Stella, Nana loves you but please don't do this at my house :) So glad Mommy didn't snap an Instagram. No photo needed b/c I think this moment will be etched in Mommy's mind forever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. no worries...this will NOT be happening again. :)

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  2. Sigh. Not sure if it's normal, but my son has done it. Twice. Yep mom of the year right here! I still shudder to think about it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OK. so good to hear, for my parenting ego that is, that i am not alone in this nasty business. so. gross.

      on that note, happy thursday!

      xo, amanda

      Delete
  3. Well, they have been known to eat bugs. No mention of Leon, so he must have missed out on that action;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank goodness mister leon was not there...dear lord that would have been awful.

      xo, amanda

      Delete
  4. hahaahhahahahahahahah! Oh my goodness girl! I am laughing so hard! What a funny experience - and SO good for black mail.... heheh! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. glad it gave you a laugh. i am finally ready to laugh about it....after i got the EW THIS IS NASTY thought out of my head. :) oh the stuff our kiddos do....

      xo, amanda

      Delete
  5. Well I know for sure Andrew never did this as a baby!!! She must take after her momma on this one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope....never happened. Miss Stella gets the sole credit for this idea.

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  6. in.tears.
    can.not.stop.laughing.

    Perhaps it's because I spent a good portion of this afternoon cleaning poo off my sweet little girls bedding. And last night, scooping it out of the tub. Thankfully she doesn't play in it or eat it (yet). She just happened to have a massive explosive diaper today! No exaggeration on the MASSIVE part.

    But to give you peace of mind, I do have two friends; each with little boys and their little boys went through the eating of the poo stage. One is now 5 and thankfully left that nasty habit in the past, where it belongs. The other just turned 1 and I believe still has a fascination with his poop. SO I know your babe isn't the only one out there that has (cough, cough) tasted her own poo. Hopefully it will be her first and last time!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ahhhh!! I just died! Thank you, thank you for sharing!! My little remy has came close to it but never made it to her mouth.

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