last night

this ^ is what last night looked like.  well, part of it.  as soon as i got home i turned the water in the shower to hot hot hot and stepped in to wash off the day.  i just stood there for about ten minutes while stella continued to put some of her blocks in with me, telling me which ones were blue ("boo") and which ones were green ("geee").  it was like medicine with that water flowing, while watching my baby girl so happy.  after i stepped out, i put on my white fluffy robe and slippers.  i knotted up my wet hair and felt, for the first time in a few days, calm.  

it was only 4:30 p.m.

after andrew made dinner (tacos!) we blasted the alabama shakes, sang to one another in something that can only be described as off key, and poured ourselves a neat red label.  we left the mess in the kitchen and let our bodies sink in to the couch.

it was only 6:00 p.m.

next came about 3 episodes of it's always sunny, after ichatting with my mom and dad.  stella showed them her new tricks, such as singing her ABC's (it's hilarious and darling) and what sound the cow makes (it's super loud, i'll show you sometime).

then bed we were ready for sweet, sweet bedtime.

but sleep happened long after i read all of your sweet comments and emails.  as my eyes scanned the computer screen with silent tears, i felt so connected and insanely thankful.  oh, how this blogging world is a strange one.  i know some of us have never met in person, but i feel like i know you, i mean really know you, and that you get me.  thank you for all who reached out and extended comforting sentiments.  your words helped me more than you will ever know.

this community is such a special one.  this space is so sacred to me.  you, and your warmth, help make it so.

i thank you.

xx, amanda