that was then // this is now

one of my favorite things to do it look at pictures of stella from months past.  when i see images from those first few months, i can help but think to myself, "how was she ever that small!?  and how did she get so big?  so darn fast?  is this some kind of trick?  it just doesn't seem possible that she has grown so much in such a short time span!  ok, what is this watery stuff coming out of my eyes?????"  these precious images sure bring forth a lot of emotion as i reminisce.

i came across one from the week we brought stella home from the nicu.  she was two and a half weeks old and as cute as a button.  just look at those little limbs, so fragile and thin.  one of my favorite things about her being so tiny were the moments we shared after feeding where she would fall asleep into a little ball on my chest...clinging to me as she took a nap.  our little stella rocked her 0-3 month clothes for what seemed like 6 months, for real.  then magically over night {so it seemed} she caught up and was not so preemie anymore.  our little peanut filled out {check out those thighs if you need proof} and shot up fast!  our little nugget now wears 12 month old clothes at 8 months old; even some of her 12 month pants are looking more like capris.  what the hell happened?   

i must admit i am in complete denial about all of this "my baby is growing" business because i cannot bring myself to box up her little lady clothes, nor buy new bigger ones.  and don't even get me started about buying bigger sized diapers.  those numbers freak me out!  when stella went from size 1 to 2, i had a meltdown in target that resulted in buying lots and lots of tissues.  {and a few toblerones to get me though the rest of our shopping excursion.}  i don't even want to think about size 4.  there is no way our baby girl will fit in those big things, no way...  those are for toddlers, and our baby, will never be a toddler.  a gal can dream i suppose.  so for now, i will soak in the beauty that is 8 our month old stella, rolls and all, and keep on taking pictures to capture the little moments i love so much {and i'm sure will bring on tears in future reminiscing}.