dear stella // kind, smart, & important

dear stella, 

i cannot believe you are 9 whole months, baby girl!  where has the time gone?  i have been thinking about a few things lately, and i thought i'd share them with you.  when you were in my tummy, i read an amazing book called, "the help."  i even read some parts to you aloud.  i remember sitting in the bathtub in our new home with my big belly stretching out so far as i lay that i could not even see my toes!  it is crazy how fast you grew in there and continue to grow.  as i read, i came across a quote that has stuck with me ever since.  the inspiring character, abilene, said something so beautiful to the little girl she was looking after.  while rocking mae mobley to sleep, she said, 

"you is kind, you is smart, you is important." 

miss abilene continued to say this phrase to the little girl until mae herself continued to recite it it on her very own.  i love everything about this quote, baby stella, and i want to tell you why.  sometimes grown-ups {yes, even ones you know} will lose sight of what is really important when talking to you and tell you that you are pretty and beautiful and applaud you for being lady-like.  they will mean well and have the best intentions to compliment you, {yes, your mama will do this too} but what i want you to understand, is that those select vocabulary words are not meant to define your importance.  these words reflect how people may see you, but know that there is more to beauty than what we see in the mirror. i would never want you to act like a "lady" at the expense of your own unique self.  kindness, intelligence, and importance, like miss abilene said, far exceed superficial beauty.

now this might sound harsh, but i want you to understand some other realities too.  not everything is gumdrops and rainbows.  i think it is important to know that there will be times when you will fail at something, and there will be times when suffering will come into your life.  but also know this: as much as it is going to hurt, you will be okay, you will make it through those rough patches, and you will be a stronger person because of it.  your daddy and i will also be there for you during these times if you need us. 

so do you remember that lady in the elevator in h&m the other day?  remember when she brashly informed us that her baby girl, the one in the stroller next to you, was already holding her her bottle at 6 months old?  remember when she asked me why you were not?  i want you to know that it is more than "okay" that you have not done that yet.  it is more than "okay" that you are taking your time with some things and focusing on others.  one day you will hold that bottle all by your self, and we will say "yay!" and clap our hands with you.  we have all the time in the world and do not need to rush anything.  

i guess what i am trying to say little one, is try not to let the competitive and cosmetic undercurrent of this world we live in get the best of you, and make you feel like a failure for not being the first, the best, or the most beautiful.  if you focus on what miss abilene said, on being kind, smart, and important, you will succeed far beyond those who were rushed into mastering adolescent skills before kindergarten. we all do things at our own pace, and there is a reason for that.  never forget that we love you to the moon and back, and will always be here for you, no matter what, even if it takes you 12 months to hold that bottle.

love, your mama


  1. I LOVE this.
    Stella sure is lucky to have you guys as her parents!

  2. aww, thanks jessi. i think we are the lucky ones!

  3. This is so sweet! My friends think I'm a little crazy, but I've written a few letters to my future child and I'm not even married yet! When something important happens to me or I get to thinking about kids, I pen a little something to him or her. I love the idea of letters to children, even when they can't read yet.

    Also, just stumbled upon your blog today and I absolutely adore it! Count me in as a daily reader now!