handmade //knitting

i feel like i am finally getting this whole stay at home mama thing down.  goodness, i am such a routine person who lives by lists and semi-informal planning.  i've really needed these few summer months to figure out what to do with miss stella for ten whole hours each day before tackling being a mama bird of two little ones!  yes, two little ones!  so very excited about that word "two".  it is not always easy coming up with affordable (and hopefully free) things to do day in and day out, but we've managed to create a schedule of sorts that helps our little girl grow in all sorts of ways, be it creatively, emotionally, socially, and physically.  

granted, some days we laid around and ate way too many bowls of sugary cereal, but most days, we have a plan.  our mornings and afternoons always included some sort of outing to either music class, library hour, art time, the park, the splash pad, the market, to a thrift store, or a fun spot downtown.  each weekday day has a little plan of sorts.  and then throughout those days we also work on colors and letters and making shapes and such, while learning a few dance moves or two to mumford and sons.  we make meals together and sing sing-alongs for hours on end.  someone is very close to learning her ABC's and loves to give a whirl at watercolors every now and then.  stella is growing so much this from everything we are doing and i am so very proud of her. 

i must say, as a very creative person i have needed a boost while being a stay at home mama.  while helping stella embrace her creativity i soon started to feel as though mine was starting to slip through my fingers.  as my old colleagues were returning to work, i felt pangs of longing and nostalgia for the opportunity i once had as a teacher and thereby constant learner throughout the past few years.  i started to crave something for myself.  something just for me, to learn, to explore, and to get lost in.  

so i thought.  and thought.  and thought some more, with coffee in hand usually early in the morning.  i need to challenge myself and give myself permission to get messy in a project.  i have not forgotten the fact that in less and two months we will have a sweet baby boy, so whatever challenge i give myself, it needs to be attainable.  what better time frame than one month to figure something out, right?  if i learned something new and stimulated my creativity each month with a different project, that would mean i would learn twelve new things a year.  

that was my plan: to devote each month to learning a completely new craft, and to really work hard at learning something new to create and fill my soul up with joy.  this creativity project has already given me something to be proud of.  it has made me get out of my comfort zone and learn something i know nothing about.  it has given me focus and has helped me grow on so many levels.

the month of august was for knitting.  i am a huge lover of all things knit and have always admired (and been secretly jealous) of those who can knit.  there is just something so delightful about a handmade scarf made out of wool.  to me, the time and energy and thoughtfulness behind a simple item is much more meaningful than anything that can be store bought.  i figured august would be the perfect month to learn how to knit because then i could spend the beautiful autumn months getting christmas gifts for loved ones ready.  

upon leaving my last knitting class on the plaza, i bought some rather expensive wool yarn.  my eyes were immediately drawn to its intense emerald green color, and i thought it would make the perfect first gift to myself as a but of a reward.  while driving home, i decided on a cowl scarf for fall.  something very chunky and warm.  with toggles.  because toggles are just adorable!  

here she is!

i started over a few times and had to walk away about ten, but i finished it in four days.  i knitted while we watched new girl reruns at night and while andrew smoked a cigar on our patio after dusk.  i knitted during nap time and while stella sang in the bath tub.  i picked it up and put it down and picked it up and put it down repeatedly throughout the day.  i even knitted while my pot was getting ready to boil for dinner.

the more i continued knit, the easier it became and the more confident i felt.  i stopped picking up rows and casting on became a breeze. those older ladies that once showed me up in our class were no longer a threat.  i learned the purl stitch and even tried making fun patterns on scrap yarn.  what fun can be had whilst learning something new!  

i have said out loud to andrew "i am so proud of myself" about seven times since learning this new craft.  i have thought it about a thousand.  learning something new is frightening.  there is always that fear of failure or the fact that it might just not come easy to you.  but that is what makes you grow.  the struggle.  the sweat.  the trying over and over again.  there were times when i knew i was making a mistake and could not figure it out.  that is when my patience was tested and i had to rely on others for help. 

the journey itself in learning something you know little to nothing about is such a powerful one that usually always trumps the final product.  it is healthy to get messy every now and then, because that's when you really get to know your self and your limitations.  august's knitting project has brought grace into my life, has helped me slow down, and has given me the opportunity to really appreciate the hard work others put into handmade knit goods.