pregnancy // 4 months

i have been loving being pregnant lately.  now that the sickness has fully subsided, i feel as though i can enjoy my ever-growing bump.  i have made peace with all the itty bitty freckles that have made their presence all over my body as well.  i shall refer to them henceforth as beauty marks.  

stella recently came up with the firm conclusion that she, too, has a baby in her belly.  its basically the sweetest thing we've ever seen.  she likes us to rub her "baby belly" and whisper sweet songs while she looks on with adoration.  then she lifts up my shirt and hugs her little brother or sister with her head.  sometimes, if she feels extra giving, she will plant a big ol' smooch right under my belly button.  i sure love it. 

one thing i sort of forgot about from my last pregnancy is the beautiful feeling of calmness that comes growing human.  i feel a constant presence of comfort that i am taking care of my baby all day long, no matter if i am teaching or getting groceries.  it is a special feeling.  a feeling that is binding us together; the reason why i am already in love with this unborn child of mine.  i love that we take on this day together.  whenever i am feeling a bit blue, i remember that i am not alone.  i have a little one that needs me.  it instantly changes my mood and it is as if nothing else matters, except for mothering my growing babe.  it is an awesome responsibility and makes rather challenging tasks seem manageable.  because, hey!  i am making a human so i can do just about anything.  right??  

originally we were not going to find out if we were having a boy or girl.  like i predicted they might, our minds have changed.  we are going to find out in a few weeks.  we just need to know.  we want to get to know our little one on another level, and attach an identity to him or her.  it is important to us that we cultivate a bond between stella and her sibling before october comes.  we want her to be a part of this experience, and the more we feel we know about our number two, the more prepared we feel we will be.  selfishly, i also want to start building a bow tie collection if there is indeed a tiny gent in my belly.

at four months, the overall feeling is calm.  it is peacefulness.  it is pretty darn wonderful and i have no complaints.  

and no, for the eight hundredth time, i am not having twins.  i am just uncharacteristically huge for this stage in the game.  ;)