it's a four letter word

it was one of those drives that seemed to linger.  the echo of fleet foxes and bon iver played in the background, and black, grazing cows started to become more frequent than cars.  old, splintered barns made themselves known, smiling at us from the barren fields in which they lay, and the grass became a deeper shade of green.  after a record or too, iowa welcomed us and missouri waved goodbye.  

i consider myself a homebody, one who will willingly grab at the chance to get back into the comfort of my jammies and snuggle up with the warmth of a soft blanket and good book.  i have always been this way.  in fact, when i was little, i had to ask my parents if i could "please go to bed now" so i could get cozied up in my room.  oddly enough for a youngster it was never the other way around.  now...i'll be frank and tell you that me getting up in the morning is a whole other story...right mom?  

while growing up, home was always a comfortable place for me, both the security of my room and the great outdoors surrounding our house being the most comforting of places.  i find it quite soothing that i still feel this same serenity and ease in these two contrasting places when i go back home, even after being married for almost 3 years and having a baby.  

when i step through that slightly broken screen door, i know i can always count on a few constants that can help ease my woes and squash my stress.  what a wonderful place home is.

home is a place where i can always count on there never being a worry in sight.  it is a place where i can relax without doing my makeup, where i can let my unwashed hair down, and wear my brother's football hoodie while shooting some hoops in middle of the road that was never finished.   

home is a place of endless candies and sweets in the pantry, where fresh fruit is always on the counter, and where grandma's quilts seem to pile up on the beds in every room.  

home is a place where music is always being played.  from a guitar strumming the tunes of a tom petty classic, to a keyboard making melodies late into the night. 

home is a place where the beauty of the wilderness was at my disposal.  i had a large grass field and thick forest surrounding me; hence, this girl {thumbs pointed my way} has one wicked imagination because of this awesome "backyard."  i could and still can whip up a fort in the amount of time it takes me to bathe stella, and based on my speed at both tasks, i'd say that's pretty darn good.  

home is a place where i am reminded as to how incredibly lucky i am to have grown up with unconditional love and immense support all around me.  and as for my parents, they are the ones to thank for this.  they were, and still are, pretty darn wonderful.  i don't tell them that enough.   

as my little family and i walked through my childhood neighborhood on easter sunday, radio flyer and all, remnants of what made me happy in the past, such as the fragrant smell of lilacs, met up with my present self.  in that fleeting moment of clarity, i found a calm sense of happiness and felt very, very grateful.  

there is a lifetime of beautiful memories where i grew up, and i have my family to thank for that.  i think this view can get clouded by hormones, and stubbornness, and other excuses...but i am recognizing it now, and want to make it known.  the best part about going home now, is that i get to share this special place with my two loves.  i know that one day, stella will be picking those lilacs for her nana and papa, and i will be over in the shade watching with her dada, both of us smiling.