3.08.2012

on motherhood // mommy memory


latly, i have been feeling like my feet simply can't touch the ground, like my mind is adrift in the clouds, and because of this i have been more forgetful than ever.  i am normally a person who leaves her keys in the ignition, only to find them there the next morning.  but recently, this forgetful quirk of mine has gotten out of control.

yesterday, the cashier at the market had to track me down in the parking lot {while waiving his arms and screaming} to give me back my wallet i have left on the counter.  the day before that, andrew and i spent thirty minutes frantically searching for my keys before work.  oddly enough, i found them on the floor of my car, lying there as if i put them there intentionally...sadly, i think i did.  i lose my phone about three times a day, and usually end up finding it in little nooks or random ledges around our apartment.  and as for my camera...locating it is a never-ending battle and usually results in quite colorful language since when i need it most it is lost! 

the strange thing about this forgetful business is that when i am putting these items in their "special" little places, i feel like i am being oh so clever.  i reckon thinking to myself many times, "why, what a perfect place for that {phone}.  you shall never forget it there!"  and about ten minutes later {said item} has magically disappeared.       

andrew is getting used to this forgetful nature of mine and i am learning to cope by writing everything down on anything i can get my hands on.  literally, i have resorted to writing things down on my hand.  there in lies another serious problem.  it is getting to the point where i cannot decode my messages i have written to myself, therefore, wasting time wondering exactly what i was supposed to do tonight at "5:30" as the scribbled instructions state on my palm.

so these are some of the questions that have surfaced because of this problem: am i in the early stages of alzheimer's?  what the hell is happening to my memory?  is this short-term loss a forever deal, leading me to believe that it can only get worse? 

after reading a number of articles and many parenting woes, i have came to the conclusion that i am acquiring what is called, "mommy memory."  i have realized that this crazy combination including: a major lack of sleep, keeping track of another life {in addition to feeding, bathing, clothing, and playing with that life} keeping my work in check, dealing with hormonal kiddos at work, taking on an after school program, being the self-proclaimed cook of our casa, and other stuff i am ironically forgetting to mention, are the cause of this lapse in my memory.  whew. being a mama is hard.  there is so much to balance and remember, no wonder i am having short-term memory loss!  now that i have identified the problem, it is time to figure out a solution. 

i am a firm believer in the positive power of the little things, so that is what i have decided to focus on.  i am going to get those little things {that often cause chaos} in check when i have the time.  for example, i need to lay out stella's outfit the night before, plan meals for the week, get our market shopping done on the weekends, write things down in one place, say, a planner, and not on scraps of paper or the back of receipts.  this small list is just the beginning.  i think if i start doing these little things, my memory might just improve.  so, this is my goal for the next month.  "mommy memory," i have accepted that you have found a place in my life, but look out...i am about to make things a little uncomfortable for you!

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